Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
as a side note pls kill me
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
