Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
