garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
