It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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