Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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