Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
