ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
