Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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