Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I would ride that face into the sunset
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
