her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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