I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
