He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
