They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
