I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
