Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
pray to the hookup gods
Drunk is not a location!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
