Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize