i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
