ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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