The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
