and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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