He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
50% drunk capacity currently
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
