he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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