To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
