marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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