Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Randomize
