$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
