Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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