are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
