Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
