Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Drunk is a universal language darling
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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