glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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