i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm getting married
To pizza
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
