hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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