idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
