The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
