Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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