Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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