I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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