Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
