Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
