Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
