i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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