I hate all girls vehemently.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i believe in u and ur pee
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
