i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
