Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
