I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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