He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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