Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
