Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
