____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
