I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
