Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
